The Balrog

I live with a Balrog in my mind. Some days it can be a little overwhelming. Today is one of those days. I want to fight it, I want to judge it, I want it gone. 

But it's a part of me, and even thought it's mean and scary, it deserves kindness. Because it's me. It's the parts of me I have ignored for so long. So, I found something to say to it in the lyrics of a pretty Noah Kahan song. And I sing to you Balrog:

"Dirt on your heels, you've made a mess
Down by the carpark, high off your head
Honey, don't worry, nobody's angry at any of this
Darling, be patient, stare into the vacancy, take a deep breath

It's like when you're tired, you're someone else
Don't speak for some time to find those words inside yourself
Honey, don't worry, I'll do your laundry, covered in dirt
Darling, be patient, it's easy to break beneath the weight of the earth

And I'll say
Always, I'll wait
For sharp glass when you break
I'll be the light that you can't make
I'll be your eyes, you be my face
Cuz darling, I get scared for you
And I'm not busy anyway

Today you looked older than me
Hair in your face, it fills the space between your teeth
And all of your falling, does it get exhausting? Have you gotten sleep?
You said you were sorry, that you hadn't called me in over a week

And I said
Always, I'll wait
For sharp glass when you break
I'll be the light that you can't make
I'll be your eyes, you be my face
Cuz darling, I get scared for you
And I'm not busy anyway

I hope, I ain't the last of what the world left you
A coat, something you only wear in cold weather
I hope, I ain't the last of what the world left you
A coat, something you only wear in cold weather

I hope, I ain't the last of what the world left you
A coat, something you only wear in cold weather
I hope, I ain't the last of what the world left you
A coat, something you only wear in cold weather

And I said
Always, I'll wait
For sharp glass when you break
I'll be the light that you can't make
I'll be your eyes, you be my face
Cuz darling, I get scared for you
And I'm not busy anyway"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HzpPl5a9EA&list=RDieZ-rMNFTMo&index=7