I've Been Wronged. That I Know.

Do you stand up for what's right, an injustice against you, or do you just let it go? When do you fight? When do you let go? And how do you know which is the right course of action? And by letting go, does it signal you'll get used and abused again? 

Why is standing up for yourself so hard knowing it may destroy someone else? Why do I care about the one that wronged me? 

Why is it important to get an apology, an acknowledgement that you were wrong? It will never come. I'm pretty sure you think this is all my fault. 

And after all the crossed lines, all the blurred boundaries, all the ethical violations, what bothers me most is you had an ethical responsibility to ensure my care was continuous. You knew how much I relied on your care. And I was dropped. To wade back deep into suicidal ideations. A dangerous choice. 

They all tell me to report you. Every last one of them. And I just want you gone. 

Maybe this is my way of excising you: You were wrong. You were not the person I thought you were. You were unethical. You were a terrible friend and an even worse practitioner. You were cold. You used me. You lied. And even worse that lying, you said things you should have never said to begin with. You gaslighted me. This is not all my fault. Oh, and you did and said exactly what Lucas did and said. After you chastised him. You get drunk and say too much. You are a coward. 

I forgive you.

I forgive me for choosing the wrong person again.

Now go. Just go.