Did anything change?

Memories on Facebook can be like little bombs. Sometimes little bombs of joy, sometimes little bombs of sadness. I've been struggling to sleep tonight and wilfulness beat out the ice packs and breathing. So, I picked up my phone and started doom scrolling. And hit my "memories" button on Facebook. This time last year was the beginning of the pandemic lockdown. So much unknown, so much fear, so much uncertainty. I was just a month out of the psych ward, trying to bring myself back to life.

Facebook showed me the words shared by a friend written upon the closing of his business in light of Covid-19:

"This is going to be a challenging time for us all, in many ways. Please take this time to deepen your sense of compassion, and kindness. Take care of your loved ones, but be aware that there are those near you who may have no one to lean on, and check in with them. Take this time to pause and become aware of what is important to you, and to recognize that what is important to you is important to us all: love, connection, a common desire to raise good children and be good neighbours.

Maybe this is a good time to mend fences with those you have quarrelled with, or reach out to a friend you haven’t spoken to in too long. Maybe it’s time to reach out and ask for help.

Maybe it’s just a time to garden, and see life spring up through the cracks. Listen to the birds, watch the stars, hear the waves on the beach. Count our blessings and look to a future where we are all just a little bit gentler with each other, and with this earth that we all share."

To me, I look back at this and think about what I learned over the past year. Was I a good neighbour? Was I a good friend? Am I still kind, compassionate? Are we really gentler with each other?

I hope I am. I know many people who are not. I see them in line at the grocery store. Many people who are fatigued, many people who just don't care. This virus is a litmus test, changing us either for the good or for the bad. If it's for the good, well done. If it's for the bad, look at yourself. Make changes. It's never too late to pick the greater good over yourself.

I hope some people took this advice. Mended those fences, apologized before it was too late. And maybe if you forgot, maybe this memory brings you home. To remember what is important to all of us: love and connection. Whether we are in a pandemic or not.