Leopards

The old saying is leopards don't change their spots. And, although, some people change, change takes courage and self reflection and a ton of work. And if that hasn't happen, the spots stay. I finally spoke my voice. Directly to the person who needed to hear it. I honestly thought I was blocked or the email would have been deleted without being read. And that didn't bother me. It was about me speaking up. Me telling my truth.

I did get a response. A very formal one. It did not contain the words "I'm sorry." It did say "I carry a good amount of sorrow and regret from that time." I'm not sure what a "good amount" is but if you're sorry, say it, even if your trying to skirt a lawsuit. Is a "good amount" bigger than none but not as much as some? Or just under sometimes if you're in the right mood? My therapist laughed and mentioned the leopard. D said "that guy is fucked." And Jenn, well, Jenn just better not run into him.

I poke, but honestly, that's not what matters. I've long since given up on apologies and friendships with people who don't work to make amends. Or are never the ones to reach out. I had to. And it's sad really. As my true friends know, I'm a pretty incredible person to have in your life.