Pattern

I have a pattern. That repeats and repeats. And although I've always been aware of it, I've just been able to put words to it thanks to a disturbing dream:

I help men through their darkness. I am available in any way to help them through. And when I express my needs and wants, they abandon me. I am continually letting myself be emotionally raped and left alone.

These are just the big ones. I've always been willing to help any man I feel a connection with....

First Love: Helped him with father issues and find career. When expressed a need for more of a commitment, was abandoned.

L: Helped through breakdown and establishment of marriage. Helped with career and jobs. When I expressed my love, was abandoned.

JP: Helped with breakdown of marriage. Helped maintain business through a pandemic. Helped with addiction issues. When I expressed my love, was abandoned.

Cake Man: Helping with breakdown of marriage. Helping with depression and dependancy issues. What will happen next? The pattern tells a lot. 

I dreamt last night that I spoke up to one of these men and was punished for it. I was raped and told "this is what you always wanted." I was further humiliated on tv in front of others. I was called crazy and insane.

And although Cake Man is much better at being there me for as well, so was JP. And that didn't stop the emotional rape and abandonment. I see this pattern. So, what do I do to stop it? I'm trying to trust people and not build up walls but how do you do that when the pattern is so clear?